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August 17, 2006
Dear Mr. Springer,
As a general rule, I do not watch much of your show, but I find myself needing to thank you. You have enriched my late night knitting in a way no one could have prepared me for. I now know who that baby's daddy is! And damn that bitch! That ho went and slept with her dude while she was in the shower! DAMN! Now that takes moxy!Even though you failed to mention whether this was a master suite shower, or maybe way down the hall, or even on the next floor, but none the less it kept that mohair flowing well into the wee hours of the night.
My 6 year old's sweater may never have been finished if it wasn't for exhibitionist transexuals who love the dogs that don't love them. Please forward my thanks on. In fact, give me a call when you do a follow-up show, I'd be glad to come down and thanks them ho's myself!
Sincerely, Libby
February 20, 2006
Job Update
In case you were still wondering about the job reference in the previous post, I was offered a part-time position at a local video store. It’s only a few hours a week, but it’s a video store! Since I was very young I always thought that working PT at a video store would be the bestest job on earth (high aspirations, I know. But it is a step up from the service station attendant I idolized in my preschool days.)So now I am gainfully employed by the illustrious movie rental industry. How is it, you ask? Disappointingly, as is the case with everyone who has idolized a minimum wage job at some point, I have come to discover a horrid reality… it’s a job. I vacuum floors. I Windex glass surfaces. I print out reports. I make change. I make a lot of change. I answer questions for cranky customers. I answer questions for wonderful customers. Yes, my friends, it is, unfortunately, work.
But, hell, if you’ve gotta work a min wage job, a movie store freakin’ rocks!!! Ok, let’s not even get into the free rental situation. I now have a use for my myriads of useless movie trivia! I now have an excuse for watching at least 9 movies a week! Yes! Yes! Yes!
You’d think that watching six to eight new releases a week would give me more of a reason to update my video reviews section. Well, you’d be right, it does. But the difference between should and would may become pretty damn apparent. I’ll try…. Really, I will.
January 15, 2006
My Sincerest Apologies
I have neglected my readers beyond reason, and I have no good excuse. Ok, I actually have the world's best excuse. I'm a mom. No, scratch that, I'm a self-employed mother of three with too many hobbies, a moderate to extremely neglected social life, and as of recently a part-part-time job, but more on that later.Now here is where you point towards your hard-working neighbor with six kids who holds down a full-time job at Wal-mart and still manages to get everyone to hockey on time. Well, I say more power to her. That is not a mom. That is a freaking super-freak of nature. She is way more "together" than I am. But, I bet she'll be committed ten years before me too. I guess I'll just have to resign to being inferior on this one.
Ok, so we've established that I have a perfectly legitimate excuse. Of course having a "reason" doesn't really justify the results to me. So I am going to post more. A lot more. If you consider the fact that it's been a few months since my last post, I'm thinking this is a campaign promise I can keep, eh?
Here's to my delusions! Cheers!
November 02, 2005
Long lost siblings re-united
Dog meets sister.Dog tries to kill sister.
Damn dog.
So we got Forest and Sable together for the first time last night! Actually, if you are used to dogs, it went very well. There was a whole lot of barking and growling and a few unpleasant "I ain't stinkin' my arm in there to pull them apart" dog fights, but they spent more time wagging tails, licking butts, and ignoring one another than fighting if you really total it all up.
If you haven't heard yet, we discovered a month or two back that friends of ours has one of the other dogs from Forest's litter. It was so odd to discover this now because we have known each other since before the adoptions took place eleven years ago! They were over at our house and I was talking about my cranky old man (Forest) and we got to figuring out how old he is. The looks from the other side of the room got more bizarre as I continued into the situation surrounding his adoption (they were abandoned at the shelter at 4 weeks old.) Eventually Jenny mentioned that Sable (one of their pups) and a past neighbor had two of the other dogs from what simply had to be the exact same litter. We amused ourselves with recollections on how only two out of the five or so puppies had shared more than one breed. They've all got lab, but past that it was a God-only-knows mix. We are guessing definitely beagle in there somewhere though because 3 had both beagle and lab traits. So Sable is a black lab.
So, Jenny shows up for dinner last night and mentions that she's got Sable in the back of the car if we wanted to try and introduce them at some point. Both of our families lost a dog this summer, making Forest and Sable suddenly only-dog-children, so we thought, hey, it's worth a shot. We figured the worst case scenario involved me scraping Forest's remains off the sidewalk and Sable being tossed back into the car through supper. I slapped on Forest's Gentle Leader (if you don't have one of these you should look into it, they are awesome) and we went down the street to do the introductions on neutral territory. Neither dog is remarkably sociable, but they both have done fine with some other dogs in the past. They are still working out some territory issues, but they shared the big fenced in backyard alright, and did okay inside for a little while.
I think there may be some potential for a few outdoors play-dates eventually, but I'll be happy either way. It was totally worth it to see a full-size black lab and a half-size lab/beagle mix sitting next to each other and to say, "I'm sorry Forest, but your momma was a whore."
August 03, 2005
On the Move
Well, we all knew it would happen, but so soon? Wendy has decided that crawling really is the way to go.I'd post pics, but I took the camera to a show and now it's packed away in a box and I'm too dang lazy to go dig it out. Ok, all you 3rd children out there, did you ever resent your parents for not taking pictures of you? We've got a billion of Jack. Ten of Beth Ann and, well, I'm sure we have a few of Wendy.... somewhere....
Crawling is one of those fuzzy milestones that parents look forward to and dread (well once they know what they are in for they do!) It's awesome to know that they can, but within a day you wish they'd forget they'd ever become mobile. Already Jack is beginning to see how "not cool" Wendy's new-found freedom is as I make him pick up every last lego and string beads in exile over in the corner that no one ever uses. Babies sure suck, don't they Jack?
At three in the morning I would tend to agree. I know that it is a phase they grow past, but baby crawling on my head is not my favorite late night activity. Neither is "baby pulling to see how far my hair can go down the mattress" or &wake up, Mommy! that face plant I just did against your hip actually hurt my nose!" Of course, once the sun has been up for an hour or so, she makes up for it by regaling us with a giggle storm as she gets up on her tippy-toes and rocks for five minutes. *sigh* Timing is everything isn't it?
